My husband Harold is one of the most disciplined people I know. He works out regularly, eats intentionally, and has been following a low-carb diet for over a year. He really pays attention to what he eats and how he takes care of himself. But there’s one thing he hasn’t completely given up, and probably never will: ice cream!
He doesn’t eat it every day. Not even every week. But every now and then, he’ll sit down with a bowl of his favorite flavor or he'll make a run to Kilwans, his favorite ice cream shop, and just enjoy it. No guilt. No explanation. Just a little joy.
That’s the inspiration behind this month’s Note to Self: “Just Have the Ice Cream.” And yes, July is National Ice Cream Month, so it felt like the perfect time to talk about indulgence as a valid part of self-care.
What Is Self-Care, Really?
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and green smoothies. Self-care is about making choices that support your well-being—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. That might mean going to bed early, drinking more water, moving your body more, or setting boundaries when something doesn’t feel right.
But other times, self-care is about saying yes to something that brings you joy, even if it’s not the healthiest or most productive choice on paper. And that’s okay. When done mindfully, those little indulgences can actually support your overall wellness.
Why Cutting Yourself Off Completely Doesn’t Work
Trying to avoid every single indulgence might seem like a path to better habits, but it often does the opposite. When we tell ourselves we can’t enjoy something just because it’s not the “best” choice, we can end up wanting it more. And when we finally give in, we may feel like we’ve failed, even if we were simply being human.
In the article How Self-Control Leads to Happiness (Psychology Today, Jan 2025), David Ludden explains that small, mindful indulgences can actually help people maintain better self-control over time. He points out that giving yourself a treat, like a piece of chocolate after a workout, can serve as a helpful reward that supports consistency, rather than undermining progress.
Similarly, in The Surprising Benefits of Spoiling Yourself (Psychology Today, Dec 2022), Ilene Strauss Cohen writes that cultures that make room for occasional indulgence often report greater life satisfaction. She also notes that constant self-denial can create a scarcity mindset, which makes it harder to enjoy good things when they do come along.
Letting yourself enjoy something from time to time doesn’t mean you’ve lost discipline. It means you’re creating a healthier, more balanced approach to caring for yourself.
Not Everything That Feels Good Is Self-Care
Let’s be honest. Just because something feels good in the moment doesn’t mean it’s self-care. That’s where it gets tricky. Real self-care supports your well-being. It helps you feel more steady, more focused, or more capable. It should not put your health, relationships, or long-term goals at risk.
People sometimes say, “This helps me relax,” or “This makes me feel like myself.” But that doesn’t automatically make it self-care. A cigarette might feel calming in the moment, but it harms your body over time. A drink might be fine in some situations, but if it becomes your only way to unwind, it might be time to ask why. Scrolling your phone can be fun, but not if it keeps you from rest, connection, or real reflection.
There’s a difference between a small comfort and a coping habit that creates more problems than it solves. Self-care should leave you feeling grounded, not regretful or disconnected.
Here are a few questions to help you sort it out:
-
Am I doing this to enjoy it, or to avoid something I don’t want to face?
-
Will I feel better afterward, or worse?
-
Is this helping me take care of myself in a lasting way?
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being honest. A quick check-in can help you choose what truly supports you.
Joy Is a Valid Reason
You don’t have to earn joy. You don’t have to justify every treat or fun moment with hard work or results. Sometimes it’s okay to just enjoy something because it makes you smile.
That might be:
-
A quiet lunch alone
-
A small splurge that makes you feel good
-
A funny show that makes you laugh
-
A snack that just hits the spot
Those moments matter. They help refill your energy and remind you that life isn’t just about getting things done.
As this month’s Note to Self says:
You don’t have to feel bad about it
or second-guess it. A little indulgence,
in moderation, is still self-care.
What’s Your Version of Ice Cream?
Maybe for you, it’s ice cream. Or maybe it’s:
-
A Saturday afternoon nap
-
A pair of hot pink heels
-
A coffee drink with all the extras
-
A quiet walk with your phone off
-
A fresh bouquet for yourself
Whatever it is, if it brings you joy and doesn’t hurt you, it can be part of your self-care.
Let Yourself Enjoy It
Self-care doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to check every box. And you definitely don’t need permission to enjoy something simple that makes you happy.
So this month, in honor of National Ice Cream Month, let this be your reminder:
Just have the ice cream.
No guilt. No stress. Just joy.
Celebrate National Ice Cream Month by Giving Yourself a Little Grace
Self-care doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful. You don’t have to earn every good thing with effort. And no, you don’t need permission—but if you were waiting for it, here it is:
Just have the ice cream.
〰️〰️〰️〰️
Stacey Montgomery
Founder, Stacey M Design Inc.
Want to be reminded to keep moving and caring for yourself? The Sunshine and Self-Care Greeting Card Subscription includes a “Note to Self” card each month, encouraging you to prioritize your well-being. Because self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential. Click here to learn more about Sunshine and Self-CareTM Greeting Card Subscription Program.
©Stacey Montgomery, 2025. All rights reserved.
Leave a Comment